Archive for category Humor

Whacko’s and Puppy Mills

[Editorial NoteSix months before this rescue, a similar one was conducted in Lyle, Tennessee.  650 dogs were placed in a very short time.  Meanwhile,  the state reports nearly 2100 children remain languishing in foster care awaiting adoption .]

Big News!!! A redneck in Virginia has been arrested for breeding dogs in unsanitary and “inhumane” conditions. Hundreds of “concerned” citizens have been calling and traveling to Virginia to help out and adopt these poor animals. The Humane Society of the United States [HSUS] claims a victory for animal rights. All is well in fantasy land.

I find this rather confusing, and deeply disturbing. This writer has been following the reprehensible conduct of our President and Congress in enacting a decent bill to protect children’s health. Oil prices spiral up, Detroit is collapsing, and Wall Street imploding. The Chinese vomit cheap garbage upon us, and every day American troops are maimed or killed supporting a war of lies. Where is the outrage here? Yet the well intentioned whacko’s line up to help out a passel of dogs and protect their rights.

This writer spent over an hour reading word for word the American Constitution and the subsequent Bill of Rights. No where–not in a single line–were animals or any rights given to them by God or Government mentioned. Yet I am informed by my legal counsel, Cheatham Steele & Tortwheazel that there are literally thousands of laws on the books protecting CERTAIN kinds of animals from mistreatment. A little research revealed that only the cuddly and amusing kind are protected. Continue reading “Whacko’s and Puppy Mills” »

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Critters Don’t Pay Taxes

[Editorial Note—This article was pulled from my old weekly column "Just a Thought" in the McCreary Voice.  It is a humorous precautionary tale about the difficulties of living in an Appalachian county that is predominantly owned by the government, and is plagued with tree hugger's from cities everywhere who have never set foot there....]

Wiley Coyote is always buying something from the Acme Company to catch the Road Runner. A casual look at his critter habits suggests that he has spent several hundred thousand dollars on mail order equipment for one purpose or another. This indicates that Mr. Coyote is well paid and has a large discretionary income. McCreary County has hundreds of square miles of Federal land filled with critters. Armed with these two bits of information, I set out to determine just how much critters spend within our local economy, and where they are employed.

Signs were set out within the forest asking for critters to participate in a survey. The only call received was from an environmental group based in Knoxville claiming that the signs ruined the pristine nature of the forest and threatened that they would sue if the signs were not removed immediately. Like most McCreary citizens, this writer does not make a lot of money that can buy lawyers and moved to get the signs down quickly. I thought about using an ATV, but was told that I could not ride it on most of the roads in the forest and park. Continue reading “Critters Don’t Pay Taxes” »

  • Share/Bookmark

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Spam prevention powered by Akismet