I am responsible. These sum up the words of Fearless Leader the other day, in describing the ongoing catastrophe left behind by the demise of the Deepwater Horizon. For those who read literally–he was not claiming that what happened was his doing–but rather that someone was going to take point position in cleaning up the wreckage.
This was not the case a week or so ago when the Three Stooges of BP, TransOceanic, and Halliburton were on the congressional hotseat. Finger pointing was the order of the day there, with Moe McKay, Larry Newman, and Curly Probert blaming each other. The only excuse not heard was that it was “God’s Will”, and they got dangerously close to whipping that one out. We always get some good Nyuk Nyuk’s out of Halliburton’s stooge–this time was no exception.
Watching the plumes of oil and drilling mud, courtesy of BP’s “catastrophe camera” stream–I stop to think that I need to fill up my Jeep today. What the hell if it only gets 16 MPG around town. We are not moving away from petroleum before my demise, so “Keep the Jeep” will be the order of the day. Let the greenie weenies drive their little putzmobiles around. I might have to haul something big and heavy.
Sarcasm or position? Or a little of both as a scene from “The Graduate” comes to mind:
Mr. McGuire: I just want to say one word to you – just one word.
Ben: Yes sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Ben: Yes I am.
Mr. McGuire: ‘Plastics.’
Ben: Exactly how do you mean?
Mr. McGuire: There’s a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
Ben: Yes I will.
I sit here awash in plastic. I wear it, most everything in my view contains it–and doctors have put some of it inside of 
me. Industrial chemicals, pharmaceuticals, roadways, fertilizers, lubricants, heating gasses and fuels, pesticides, waxes, food additives–the list is chock full of the hydrocarbon stuff that make modern life possible–and is not replaceable with other things. Yet the real deal in getting all of these goodies out of the crude oil is that 81% of every gallon of crude makes up various fuels–not only gasoline–but the stuff that keeps trucks, planes, trains, and ships moving. And I’m afraid that this writer will never be able to hug a tree hard enough to believe that electric putzmobile technology or solar silliness is going to replace any of that need in the next fifty or more years…
Yup, that’s a lot of fuel products to get to the raw materials that keep the modern world spinning smoothly on its petroleum axis. Cutting down on fuel use will not commensurately reduce the need for the remaining 15% of petrochemical products–a fact that is conveniently ignored in the empty rhetoric of reducing our dependence on oil. Even if auto use of gasoline were to be reduced by one half today, our worthy friends in China, India, and Brazil will gladly use up the cheap glut that would result. Those accused of being overly educated call this a zero sum game. There is a twisted analogy here of painting oneself into a corner, and discovering that it will take forever for the paint to dry–if it ever does. Perhaps the painter should not have used a petroleum based product.
Strains of Bruce Hornsby playing “The Way it Is” surround my thoughts as they turn to all of the people in the Gulf that are affected by this mess. Fishing boats sitting idle. Tourism flat and repugnant as a possum on a hot country road. So it is in the Gulf states that depend on fishing and oil for their economy–and those states like Florida that fishing and tourism define their character. But this is just one more assault on a tenuous balance that has existed for decades–as development, overfishing, and urban runoff have steadily maimed that industry. How this catastrophe will redefine things–finally tipping the scale in ways no one can yet imagine. Sing on Bruce, it’s a sweeter requiem than the ravings of Booby Jindahl.
[Cut to Obama blabbering on the beach, and a dog and pony show casting crew assembled by BP pretending to work on a Louisiana shore in the background.]
This is indeed a wakeup call–that all of our endeavors carry risks of a magnitude that staggers the imagination–and presses the environment. Best case scenarios and polite lies have been exposed as the rubbish that they are. Let’s hope that somewhere out of this a new set of policies and regulations comes forth that adds a level of protection against such catastrophes in the future–while recognizing that our world is built upon the fruit of the drilling rig. We can only marvel that this has not happened before.
As the news rolls in that the “top kill” efforts have failed, several things become abundantly clear. The first is that oil producers lack the technology to deal with damage at the wellhead or blowout preventer level when drilling at these sorts of depth. They lied about that. Solution–America needs to step back from such operations until such time as the technology exists. Returning to the fantasy that companies created to present an illusion that they could deal with such disasters–penalties should be imposed for such misrepresentation–and an entirely new level of scrutiny given to those proposing any sort of underwater drilling operations.
Being that this is the largest man made petroleum disaster in history–the sane course is not repeat the episode to see if one larger can be created. It has been proven beyond a doubt that problems result in grasping at straws–to the detriment of everyone.
Let’s hope that BP is not too big to fail before it–and the assets of those connected with the Deepwater Horizon peter out. Our Fearless Leader wishes to be responsible–so be it. A strange vision of Mr. McKay at BP erasing this message from his voicemail twice daily comes to mind:
“Hello, this phone call is for Lamar McKay. If you are not Lamar McKay, please hang up now. If you continue to listen to this message, I have an important business matter for you that requires your immediate attention. Please call Mr. Obama of the White House Collection Agency by 4PM today to avoid further complications with your account…”
But alas, Barry has better things to do than dun the bozos at BP to pay up. Rest assured that there will be some new or expanded agency that will oversee all of this. He is correct that he is responsible–as the captain of a great social and economic ship that owes its very being to a few specific pairings of hydrogen and carbon atoms–in a world that is based upon this myriad of potential combination’s. The devil we live with. Of course we could stop using these products and return to the way of life that existed several hundred years ago. Whales, like the fish that have been decimated over the relatively recent past are in short supply–so something else would have to be found to fill our lamps with. It’s just the way it is, and make no mistake–we are all responsible…
© 2010
